A hot Augusto arrival
Semester one,
Nervousness, insecurities, adjustments
A will to maintain my routines
The slow evaporation of willpower due to stress of midterms
Professors that are self-absorbed and threatened by the aura of my presence
My independent and non-conformist approach
Ah… the party, lots of wine and a much-needed release of stress, ah… to be happy
But in the dark corners, mean girl spirits lurked, I was the source of their laughter, not life its self. Immaturity
Ah winter break – time to go home and renew, begin routines and return stronger
Semester two, so far so good
I am a lot calmer
A new option for creativity that was not present in semester 1 arises
Silver lining, I was forced to be creative outside of academia, I created my own creative class.
museum visits to study & sketch their works of art and of course enjoy a cappuccino
Hendrik Christian Andersen Museum
2nd month of semester 2 covid surfaces and total lockdown begins
Mornings were depressing, bright without the option to enjoy them
I found comfort in the night; in the dark no one can see that you are sad and alone
May arrives, lockdown lifts, all non-locals have left, Rome is empty
Villa Pamphili is all mine
It is wild, overgrown, and fresh
I walk through its paths as if I am the sole survivor of the pandemic
Rome heats up
Businesses reopen
Still
Rome is empty
Boarders remain closed
Walks become morning adventures only,
the streets of Rome absorb and reflect the sun like a cast iron skillet
Still, I go out, I am here in Rome to experience Rome the eternal city
The frutta and verdure mercatos are full of stone fruit, figs, grapes and every veggie possible
The Summer fruit is ripe, the tomatoes are like works of art, when you slice into one, jewels appear
Summer days are filled with hot and sweaty walks through Roma centro and caffe doppios at the museum bar.
Days dedicated to portraiture painting
my summer flat is an amazing space where I completed numerous oil paintings
{why can’t I remain here? Because I am not a typical study abroad student, I am not wealthy}
Inspiration came in many forms, identity, fresh fruit, travels to Venice & Florence, sorrows.
I am very sensitive and emotional and that does not bother me
A pleasant break in my routine came with an excursion to the beach, a much-needed break from Rome’s sticky hot pavement
24th of august noonish 
Back in the city
I am ready to begin classes, to begin my capstone seminar, to be around people again
The 3rd semester is spent 50% online with on campus studio courses thank God!
Rough waters
This fall semester is a bumpy one, within a month I have to move again, on my bday no less
Happy birthday to me… tears
My birthday was spent moving, cleaning, packing and unpacking
Which disrupted my study flow
The new flat is modern, cozy & on the 2nd floor, {American 3rd} the windows are tall and narrow, the view is rectangular and enclosing, it is not a wealthy view, it is containment
Much to my dismay My health suffered here… I am not sure why?
Contributing Factors = a loss of all will power, stress became too great. This flat is cold, I worry about the electricity bill, I feel isolated in this neighborhood… as a result all too familiar unhealthy habitus has returned
shall I continue…
Are there any positives you ask?
Yes!
I paint, I painted a lot, my painting flow continues to gain momentum
I ended the fall semester of my senior year with a 20-portrait critique!
But there is no rest for the weary
MFA application deadlines approaching
winter break consists of
Continuous drafts of statements
Painting more
Long walks in the city have ceased, its cold and dark
The winter is unfriendly here
In Europe you live in the elements
automobile shelters are rare and only for the well off
There is an absence of holiday spirit here
I don’t feel anything
numb
I go outside rarely because it is not friendly, cold
And day light is short
The spring semester has begun, my last!!!!!
An online start
Certo!
Covid is still here
But I am okay with the online start
I am not ready to people yet
The second portion of my capstone is delayed because the “good ol boys club” is still upset
They could not control me and they never will!
Still, I strive
As a result, my first painting was a symbol of strength and resistance!
They tried to suppress my cultural capital but their methods failed miserably
When men feel inferior to women, they come for us
They came for me
But I did not send for them
Therefore, their attempts were ineffective
they did not break through my barrier
I painted and painted and painted!
I painted everything I felt.
Sadness
Strength
Vulnerability
Isolation
Anger
INEQUALITY
my emotions manifested ethereal scenes and dreamlike atmospheres
Concepts manifest soooo frequently now
so many paintings in my head
concepts in journals
sketches scribbled on papers
The seeds I planted are growing at a phenomenal rate
My return home will nourish these sprouts
I will be nourished
My next chapter will expand upon my time in Rome, and all the life experiences, lessons and hard truths learned
I am stronger
My focus has been enhanced
My vision becomes clearer everyday
I know I have all the tools inside me, to create
the barriers and confines of academia have taught me to think outside of their world.
Who am I?
I am a PAINTRESS!
tiffanie n peters 